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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?